The
Critical Eighteen Inches-Part 2
The Journey from Head Knowledge to Heart Revelation
by Ken Barnes
The Journey from Head Knowledge to Heart Revelation
by Ken Barnes
Count Ludwig von Zinzendorf and the
Moravian movement had a tremendous impact on world missions. It was a group of
Moravians that inspired Charles Wesley, the founder of Methodism, when on an
ocean voyage to America. Their ship was
in peril and the rest of the passengers were screaming in terror, while the
Moravians were quietly singing hymns. Their
roots in pietism, a renewal movement within the German Lutheran churches, can
only explain Zinzendorf and the Moravians. Pietism saw a disconnect between
academic theology (head knowledge) and spiritual life (heart revelation). The Pietists focused on the spiritual
formation of soul and character rather than just the mere transmission of
scholarship. They were committed to a
living and practical outworking of Christian love rather than a head-knowledge
of Christian doctrine alone.
Anyone can acquire information in a classroom, but true Christian love can only be learned through life experiences. If our Christian love is to be lived out in the everyday world, maybe it is the classroom of life in which our spiritual lessons are best learned. Lessons of eternal consequence are often hidden in the commonplace or menial duties of our lives, and we miss them because we are always looking for God in the unusual and spectacular. I once learned some lessons of eternal consequence while working in the mundane atmosphere of a kitchen.
Anyone can acquire information in a classroom, but true Christian love can only be learned through life experiences. If our Christian love is to be lived out in the everyday world, maybe it is the classroom of life in which our spiritual lessons are best learned. Lessons of eternal consequence are often hidden in the commonplace or menial duties of our lives, and we miss them because we are always looking for God in the unusual and spectacular. I once learned some lessons of eternal consequence while working in the mundane atmosphere of a kitchen.
The
Kitchen
“Here I am
a thirty-four year old gofer, breaking
my back carrying produce in this kitchen.
This is not my idea of mission work!”
It was 1981. We were about 39,000 feet
above the Pacific Ocean in a Boeing 747 returning from a missionary furlough in
route to a Youth With A Mission (YWAM) training center in Hawaii. I was gazing
out the window with my Bible on my lap, praying and thinking about God’s
direction for my life. Deep down in my inner being I knew God was going to
reveal to me my future direction. I was reading Exodus 17 and was drawn to the
part where Moses was leading Israel in battle against the Amalekites. With his
staff in his hands, Moses extended his arms above his head, and Israel
prevailed in the battle. As Moses’s arms became heavy and fell to his side, the
battle turned in favor of the enemy. Aaron and Hur quickly rushed to Moses’s
aid. With Moses seated, each of them supported an arm, and Israel again became
victorious.
I felt a rush in my emotions. Was I to be
like Aaron and Hur? Was God going to have me come alongside of one of the
mission leaders? Several people flashed through my mind; all of them were
leaders at the training center. I envisioned myself with several of them in
ministry situations. Closing my Bible, my expectancy continued to peak as I
pondered who this person would turn out to be.
We arrived at the YWAM base in sunny Kona,
Hawaii and proceeded to get back into the swing of things. One Saturday I found
myself harvesting bananas with our cook, Hans-Rudi. In the course of the
morning, Hans-Rudi said, “Ken, we have so much work to do in the kitchen and so
few workers. We are really understaffed.” My mind drifted back to the plane and
to Aaron and Hur holding up Moses’s arms. God, is this the person? After
a momentary pause, I said to myself, No way, and dismissed the thought.
We finished the harvesting, and I went on my way trying my best to forget this
little incident.
A day or two later I received a phone call
from a lady in personnel. She mentioned
the need in the kitchen and asked if I would help out Hans-Rudi. I told her
that I would pray about it, and hung up the phone. I felt as if I had been
punched in the stomach. Considering the airplane revelation and the
banana-harvesting experience, deep down I already knew what God wanted me to
do. But I prayed anyway, hoping God would change his mind. (Sometimes we
substitute praying for obeying.) In the end, I called the woman in personnel
and agreed to do it: I would try my hand in the kitchen.
What Am I, Limburger Cheese?
I reported to the kitchen. I was
thirty-four years old and had become, for lack of a better description,
Hans-Rudi’s “gofer.” If Hans-Rudi needed some carrots, I would go to the
cold-storage room (commonly called the cool room) to get them. If he needed
potatoes, meat, cheese, or just about anything else, I got it for him. The work
did not stimulate my mind a whole lot, but it kept my body really busy.
Hans-Rudi had come to us from Switzerland
after having worked as a chef at a classy hotel there. He was a great cook.
People were always coming by and giving him a hug and congratulating him on the
great meals he prepared. As people were hugging Hans-Rudi, I would be lifting a
box of vegetables off the kitchen floor. The more they commended him, the more
I felt unnoticed. I wanted to say to them, “What am I, Limburger cheese?”
Negative thoughts and attitudes started to
arise in me. If I weren’t lifting these boxes, Hans-Rudi wouldn’t be able to
do what he does. But no one seems to notice. This
missionary life isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. Sounds familiar, doesn’t
it? I went to work, but not happily. I dwelled on what was wrong with
circumstances and people rather than what was right. I became critical, at
first mainly in my thought life. Soon little comments, though veiled, spoke
volumes about what was going on in my heart. I was showing a telltale sign
which surfaces when God starts to challenge attitudes—I was losing my joy.
The situation came to a head at a weekly
staff meeting. It was the “unsung hero” section of the meeting where we
highlighted a staff member’s contributions and commitment to the training
center. Hans-Rudi was chosen as the unsung hero this night. Remembering all the
hugs and congratulations, I sat there thinking, Hans-Rudi, an unsung hero?
Yeah, right! Hans-Rudi rose to his feet. Person after person stood up and
affirmed his culinary skills, his servant heart, and various other things. I on
the other hand could not think of one good thing to say—or more correctly, one
good thing I wanted to say. As a matter of fact, as each person spoke, I
became more and more angry. Finally, I couldn’t take it any longer, and I got
up and left the meeting.
Something was desperately wrong. Why
couldn’t I stand to hear something good said about a Christian brother? I
walked to the field in the back of the meeting area and looked up into the dark
of the night. “What is going on, God?” Almost immediately God brought to my
mind a prayer I had prayed several months earlier. I had just finished a
character study on the life of Moses and had seen him as an unselfish kingdom
builder. The prayer was “Lord, make me like this man.” As clearly as I had ever
heard God speak, he said, “Ken, I am just answering your prayer.”
I was stunned. After a few moments, all I could say was,
“God, forgive me. Forgive me for the selfishness of my heart.”
As I wept before the Lord, he showed me
that there needed to be feet to my contrition. My repentance was not just to be
words that I said but actions, which demonstrated that my words were true. God
gave me a plan of action. When I started to complain about where he had placed
me, I needed to pray, “Thank you, Lord, for the honor of serving you in this
kitchen.” When I was tempted to be critical of Hans-Rudi or others I worked
with, I needed to call it what it was—envy, jealousy, selfish ambition.
Criticism was to be countered with compliments and gratefulness. Can you
imagine how the enemy of our soul hates it when we counter his lies with the
truth?
I returned to the kitchen with new
resolve. And no, everything wasn’t a bed of roses from this point forward. The
tests came. When criticism and complaining reared their ugly heads, my response
was, “Hans-Rudi, you are a great guy”—which he really was—“and I am privileged
to work with you.” I was not flattering him; I was speaking the truth. As God
enabled me to respond in this manner, little by little I started to be
victorious over my critical attitude. And you guessed it—my joy started to
return. God had done a work in my heart.
I must
emphasize that I did not change my heart; God did. I did what I could do, which
was to be obedient. God did the rest. It was God’s initiative; it did not start
with me or my choices. I responded in obedience, and God’s will and power
brought it to pass. The process wasn’t quick and easy, and it did not happen
overnight. But it began as I started to move in the right direction.
What
pointed me in the right direction? It
was God’s graciousness in providing this life experience (the kitchen) to
enable me to bridge the disconnect between head knowledge and character
formation; between how I thought I served God and how I actually reacted when
placed in a servant role. It happened
when I responded to God’s invitation to navigate that long, long journey of
eighteen inches from head to heart.
Adapted from Ken Barnes, The Chicken Farm and Other Sacred Places:
The Joy of Serving God in the Ordinary (Seattle: YWAM Publishing, 2011),
47-51.
Email: kenbarnes737@gmail.com
website: https://sites.google.com/site/kenbarnesbooksite/
Blog: http://kensblog757.blogspot.com
Email: kenbarnes737@gmail.com
website: https://sites.google.com/site/kenbarnesbooksite/
Blog: http://kensblog757.blogspot.com